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The depth of hurt suffered in fractured relationships can be enormous. Here are some tips to help you cope, repair the damage and move on in your relationship with a deeper understanding and tolerance.

Be persistent - do treat the other person with kindness, courtesy and respect - even if you feel they do not deserve it. It does not help to use demeaning words and show your displeasure. Refrain from saying what you are thinking if the words are inflammatory.

1. Respond don't react. Losing your temper will just further fan the flames. If you react you will probably say or do the wrong thing.

2. Look for the root causes of the problem. Sometimes we are just as much to blame as the other person. Try to look at the whole picture. It is a bit like putting a puzzle together, if you do not have the cover picture you could never figure out where each piece would fit.

3. Do not be judgmental. It is very easy to blame the other person entirely for all and everything. Even more so, when you are coming from a point of hurt. Not one of us are blameless, we are all capable of being a better person, a better partner, a better colleague etc.

4. Don't dwell on past hurts. What happened a few seconds ago is in the past. Rather concentrate on the now and how you can live the best possible life in the now.

5. Remember you get more of what you focus on.

6. Keep a quiet mind. Stay calm and concentrate on being serene and composed. You will have a much better chance of sorting out problems when your mind is not filled with angry, destructive thoughts.

7. If the relationship is worth repairing, decide your best course of action and move forward, always being solution orientated.

8. Find at least one thing each day that fills you with gratitude and write it down.

9. Look for the things that make you happy in your relationship and focus on those.

10. Maintain a positive mental attitude.

11. Being positive opens the doorway to your mind

12. Be prepared to listen and work on the points raised when you are able to have a meaningful discussion.

13. What can you bring to the relationship that will contribute to a positive outcome?

14. Take time to spoil yourself.

15. Spend quiet time thinking things through so that your thoughts are clear and don't blame yourself.

16. If necessary, share your problems with a person who will be discreet, and not judgemental, but will look at the situation from both points of view.

17. You cannot change your partner but you can change yourself. "Become" the person that you want them to be.

Lastly, don't give up. Small improvements are something to be celebrated. Remember, the problems you are now facing took time to build up and it will take to time to heal and repair them.

Remember, never touch another person in anger.