Wedding Shower Gift Etiquette

Whether you are hosting your own shower or have been invited to one, there are a few points of etiquette that should be observed when it comes to shower gifts. In this article, I will discuss these particularities so that you may not offend anyone.

First, if you are invited to a wedding shower, you must send a gift. This applies in all cases, even if the bride has no expectation that you would have been able to attend the shower (such as if you are on a military tour in a foreign country). This is a stricter rule than that surrounding weddings, but because the purpose of showers is gifts, any invitation brings with it a gift obligation.

Second, all gifts should be opened right at the shower, including those from people who could not attend the shower. Again, the purpose of the shower is the giving of gifts, and so the actual giving of the gifts is a part of the celebration itself.

Third, you must give a gift, even if the bride has been married before. Wedding showers are the exception to the rule that encore wedding gifts are optional. In the case of the shower, gift giving is mandatory. There is a flip-side to this, however. Because people who have attended a previous wedding shower should not be expected to give second gifts, it may be considerate not to invite them to a second wedding shower. This is a judgment call, however. For close family and very close friends, they would likely be hurt if they missed your shower, so you should feel free to invite them anyway.

Finally, shower gifts, just like wedding gifts, require notes of thanks. Because showers can be a bit chaotic, have one of your wedding party take notes at the wedding as gifts are opened, saying who gave which gifts so that you can send out "thank you" notes. If you fail to do this, you'll find you won't remember who gave you which gifts.

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