Clebrity Night Shot

I'll never forget it. When I closed my eyes I connected to everything...e-books, audios, speaking engagements, interviews and talking to certain people. Before I jump ahead of myself, let me start with a question a client once asked.

She asked: "As you grew in your career how did you maintain a balance between family and business life without driving yourself mad?"

There will always be a brilliant professor or an Aunt Betty who will remind us to make sure we keep a good balance between work and family. Most of us have grown up hearing how important it is to find the "right balance" so we can spend a proper amount of 'quality time' with our family and friends; and if we have our 'priorities straight' then happiness 'should' follow.

So here is how I responded to my client's question: "I use to drive myself crazy looking for balance every day of my life until the year of 2007."

"First," I said, "Lets clarify that whenever we use the word 'should' it is like pouring a glob of shame all over your plate. Second, what I might connect to as a priority may not look the same for my spouse or children. Third, I needed to learn to be grateful, to be present no matter who I am with and to find peace in those choices. If I can bring increase to another life by doing those things then I have achieved balance."

I could see her eyes glaze over and yours might be doing the same thing. Allow me to share a personal story with you.

In 2007 my 18-yr-old nephew was killed in a drowning accident at his college in NY. His mother, my little sister, had been planning to marry in just a few weeks before this happened, and although no one felt like celebrating a wedding right after his death, we all knew Lee would have wanted it that way.

No human perspective of balance, just the feeling of joy once again after a tragic death.

When the day of her wedding arrived my little sister had her hair and make up done and she looked beautiful, more radiant than we had seen her in years really. The only problem was that when she went to get into her wedding gown it was much too small for her - as if it were two sizes too small! I remember looking up at her eyes in the mirror of the changing room. I'll never forget the look of sheer terror. My heart went out to her as she searched my face for an explanation.

"What happened?" She asked. "How could I have gained so much weight when I haven't even been eating?! This makes no sense!"

It was true, she had barely eaten during those awful weeks of grief, but in less than 20 minutes she'll be walking down the isle to marry and we can't even zip up the gown! My mind raced with wild thoughts like...."Do we go now to get a dress from the Walmart down the street? Do we find pins and a shawl of some kind to cover her back?"

I forced optimism in to my tone and declared, "Don't worry, we'll get you into it and although you may have to walk like a penguin... you'll look absolutely stunning."

Where is balance when you barely eat and still gain weight?

What she discovered a few weeks later was that there were several large tumors growing in her abdomen, which is why her dress didn't fit. It wasn't long before Cancer took over her body and she too died a few months later.

Caring for her in the hospital day and night, sleeping a few hours at a time in a little wooden chair, I was not concerned about balance, only in staying present with her and showing her my deepest appreciation for what she was going through and how much I loved her.

Between the consistent travel to and from VT there was no balance in my relationship with my husband or teenage daughter. No, there was only distance between us and they did their best to understand, but it wasn't easy.

A few months later I closed the doors to our successful investing business, which as I see it now was a good thing, but there was no balance, just exhaustion and questions in my mind about what I was to do now?

Just when things began looking up I fell on black ice and injured my brain. I lay in bed, in a chair or on the floor for the next several months having brain seizures and blackouts and no one could figure out why.

Where is balance in a world that seems upside down sometimes?

Six months after that fall something amazing happened. As weird as it sounds I awoke to a bedroom filled with unexplained light. I sat up in bed and there was no pain. I closed my eyes and began to praise God for all that I had. In my mind I saw books, and speaking engagements and all kinds of people that I would talk to.

Was I concerned about balance in that moment? Not at all... only in being present and grateful, not guilty or shaming myself for not having life under control.

I understood that balance can only be achieved from a spiritual perspective, living within and accepting the perfect order of God. You don't have to do anything to achieve it, because it already exists right there in front of you.

There are many experts who have built their empire on the idea of how to accomplish a life of balance by working toward doing the 'right things', but you're not going to hear me condone their teachings of acquiring it.

If balance, like happiness, were a destination someone would have bottled it up and sold it on the black market by now.

God set the world in motion in perfect order....with laws that are unshakable. Humans get to live within that universal order and create a life of abundance, or a life of never enough, through cause and effect. When we realize that balance comes through opportunities of being grateful, trusting fully what you hear on the inside, and learn to be fully present, the search is over.

Rich, poor, young or old, we each have the opportunity to walk in perfect balance - it's just a matter of seeing it already exists.

Balance is in the journey all along your path, just like happiness, and it's there in an orderly world.

When you release the desire to control balance, and stay focused where you are at the time, really listening and taking part actively in life, you will find renewed relationships for both your personal life and in your business life. No guilt, no shame, no expectation or disappointment.

Staying 'present' and in the moment with others will leave much more of an impact.

You don't have to believe a word I say, but I can tell you there is a list of people who are achieving it every day. So the next time you are with someone... try to leave them with a sense of increase.

I am here to serve anyone who wants to take that journey with gusto. As always, if you find this of any value please re-tweet, comment and share.