Change - Mindset Myths

While many of us resist it, change is something that must and will take place. Change is a given because all of life is a constant evolution. Nothing stays the same for indefinite periods of time. And nothing should stay exactly the same. Change is what pushes us to become new and better people over and over again. If change didn't take place, we'd be stagnant creatures, incapable of dealing with problems, issues, and challenges. If change didn't happen, we'd be dull, uninspired, and pretty much dead inside. Change is what helps us feel alive!

Many folks experience a lot of difficulty facing and adjusting to change. Why is that? We have a tough time with change primarily because we focus on several mindset myths that keep us stuck. Do you see yourself in any of the following?

1. I can't change.

Telling yourself that you cannot change blocks your ability to do anything differently from how you do it now. This kind of a mental message puts up a brick wall. Instead of saying that you cannot make changes (change implying something major inside of your head)) why not tell yourself that you are capable of making small shifts? All people are able to step a bit to the right or a bit to the left of what they are currently doing. Here's an example: Rather than continue to conduct weekly two hour staff meetings that require a big time investment for everyone involved, try one hour meetings that cover what's most important.

2. I don't handle change very well.

Whatever we tell ourselves has a way of coming true. If we believe we don't handle change well, we won't. If we believe we do handle change well, we will. Know that there is so much power in the message we play in our minds. How about flipping your negative message to its opposite? Try taping a little card or strip of paper to your bathroom mirror, kitchen cupboard, and car dash board. On these cards write: I am amazed at how well I cope with every change that comes into my life. Read this message aloud multiple times each day to reprogram your brain.

3. Change is bad.

If you tell yourself that change is bad, do you know how that belief developed? Where did this come from? Did you hear your parents and other relatives say it when you were growing up? Did you have a negative experience after making a particular change in your life? Whatever the case, understand that some change is bad and some is good. Each potential change needs to be assessed in terms of its benefits. Ask yourself how making a certain change will create different results from those you are getting now. Will those new results bring you greater happiness, less stress, more productivity, increased efficiency, improved skills? If you can honestly say yes to even several of those pluses, then that particular change may be very good indeed.

4. Change takes too much effort.

There is a price to pay for choosing to avoid change--especially change that really needs to happen. Anything in life worth having is worth the effort you put forth to attain it. Think about all the things you've accomplished. They required effort on your part, didn't they? Earning a college degree takes effort. Marrying and staying married takes effort. Bearing children and raising them takes effort. Getting up in the morning and working a job takes effort. Meeting new friends and maintaining those relationships takes effort. Consciously decide to make the effort to change what isn't serving you at home and at work. Dodging these changes brings misery, unfulfillment, disappointment, even resentment down the road.

5. Change is painful.

Initially, certain changes may in fact be painful: moving away from home for the first time, assuming more financial responsibility in order to start a family, inconveniencing yourself to take care of an ailing parent, starting a brand new job, firing a dead wood employee, giving up substance abuse, leaving a destructive marriage. If you avoid all pain, you don't do anything. Temporary pain can be a forerunner to greater joy and richness in life. That said, not all change is painful. Taking a vacation to a tropical island in the middle of winter is fun, not painful. You change your environment but are not upset by it. Receiving a sizable raise at work is an occasion to celebrate. What a welcome change! Now you can afford that house you've wanted to buy.

6. Change is to be feared.

Fears are generally learned. We really aren't born to be afraid of much that we fear. It's appropriate to fear a stalker or a house fire. It's not appropriate or beneficial to fear many of the changes we experience in our lives. Have you ever been presented with the opportunity to move into a more satisfying job but ended up declining the offer out of fear? Fear of failure or lack of self confidence? How sad if this has been your experience. Think of change as a gift instead of something to be afraid of. Change comes to us to stretch us, enrich us, and develop us. The more you allow change into your life, the more you will evolve into the person you are meant to be in this world. Frequently our sadness and disappointment comes from choosing stagnancy.

So what beliefs should we have instead of the negative ones mentioned above? Ingrain the following deep into the fibers of your being, and watch your whole life light up:

1. I am able to change whenever I need to or desire to change.

2. I handle change very easily.

3. Many changes in my life are good and bring me joy.

4. I am willing to put effort into change that is appropriate for me.

5. Most changes in my life feel good to me.

6. I welcome change and delight in it.

By Sylvia D. Hepler

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